Days Off

Every spring, grim combatants engage in furious competition for a cherished prize. At stake is nothing more than one's Pride - but if one doesn't have one's pride, what on earth does one have?

I am speaking, of course, about the annual Easter Bonnet Competition held by my girlfriend's family. Last year, my Giant Easter Basket Hat took the top prize, so this year I would have to bring something special to hang on to bragging rights. Thus was born the idea for the Easter Diorama, which I would document in a handy "How To Win Your Girlfriend's Family's Easter Bonnet Competition AGAIN" podcast.

As it turned out, I did something completely different. And the sound quality sucks at first. But watch for the charming dog antics!

My options for producing even mediocre-quality entertainment shrink like parents in a Disney movie when illness confines me to bed on my day off. Fortunately, a little good news from the outside world cheers me up a bit.

The world needs more people with the powerful ability to whistle through their fingers. When the disaster strikes, will you be one of those who stand proudly with your fingers in your mouth, issuing forth a shrill alarm, or will you be looking around in irritation with one hand fruitlessly shielding an ear?  It's time to choose sides. If you had trouble mastering the technique in the last video, this might just change your life.

From the Monarch ski area near Salida, Colorado comes this exciting moving picture with soundtastic synchronized musical effects! This footage, from a trip with my sister, bro-in-law, and nephew, unites the once-disparate genres of professional daredevil ski video, dance tune video, and home movie.

When Jen decided to move across the country, I fired up the InterTubes to get more information on this distant mysterious land known as "Oregon." Technology puts lots of information at our fingertips, but can it help answer the question of what will happen to your friendship after your friend packs up a van and heads off into the sunset?

If you always thought it would be cool to hail a cab by whistling through your fingers, you were right - and you owe it to yourself to learn this essential life-skill before another unfulfilled whistle-less day passes. Fortunately, I can teach you how to do it in four easy steps, none of which involve providing information about your banking account.

It's the first day of snowboarding season, and nothing, not even shirt-sleeve warm weather, a constant depressing drizzle of rain, near-zero visibility due to fog, and an unfortunate lack of snow can stop us from hitting the slopes. And by hitting, I mean literally hitting. Hard.

In a last warm spell before winter chills the ocean, I pack up the camping gear and head back to the beach for one more surfing trip. Although I initially only fear the few remaining creepy campground people in my vicinity, a far more sinister development - no decent waves to ride - proves even more troubling.

A pleasant autumn walk around town takes a grim and ghoulish turn.

My friend Jen is moving across the country soon, so in preparation, we hold a yard sale. She needs to divest herself of some of her dead mom's former possessions, and I'm trying to unload some items I just haven't used recently, like my adhesive glow-in-the-dark stars and my Avenging Unicorn Play Set. As the day gets longer, we grow increasingly desperate to get rid of every single item we can. Bonus: see if you can catch the  math error.